THE COCKTAIL

The cocktails are the most looked forward to function. The mood is ‘FUN’ and so has the attiregot to be. The key word is ‘FUSION’. Be unusual, be daring and leave them guessing as to what’s next. Colours need to be your discovery. The season’s tone is deep shades. I suggest shades which speak volumes. Montana, a shade which echoes all the blues and greens of a peacock’s plumage or asomber cocoa-cola again reflecting a million browns in its depth.

The silhouette needs to be carefully chosen since unlike other functions, on this occasion along with being striking it needs to allow enough freedom of movement so as to enable fluid dancing. We can go as western as jeweled boleros gracing figure- hugging corsets with tapered trousers or choose a safer fusion of sherwanis with cigarette pants. A more feminine option however would be corsets atop layered skirts. Skirts flouncing around your legs as you sway to the music always make you look graceful. Though, the last option if exercised in the absence of an hour glassfigure tends to enhance all that we want should go unnoticed.

Clothing with a western element goes well with Italian jewellery. Semi precious stones in radical contrast to the colours worn serve to highlight both the accessories and clothes at the same time. Rubies with ivory, Emeralds with Fuchsia, Pearls with Coke, Tanzanite with black and so on.

The perfume worn could be an anonymous stronger scent which is definitely spicy. The make up should add a touch of mystery to your face. Cherry- stained lips or steamy eyes coupled with bold hairstyles nvolving coloured glitter and interwoven crystals. Anything worn must be purely for effect. After all, we need to make the ‘other’ million hearts realize their loss. Your footwear must be comfortable and well coordinated, since it is going to be much more visible on this day as compared to the other functions. Should be either the same colour as your outfit or could be the strappy glitter variety. Now coming to the groom ‘to- be’, the metro sexual man of today needs to look his most dashing debonair self. Classic suits in boring colours with striking ties are in. Charcoals with patterned yellows, blacks with fuchsia and slates with a shocking
cobalt. For once the bride shouldn’t be allowed to steal the show. Being the one of the bigger function where you don a western look the opportunity must be exploited to the maximum. This is a total contrast to what you shall be wearing on your next function. At last, what everyone has been waiting for, the wedding.

THE WEDDING

Finally. Your dreams since forever are to be transformed into reality. The night has arrived. You want to be regal, resplendent in the grandeur that only something traditional can provide. Its richness must be secondary to none, only then can it do justice to the bride. There can be no doubt as to the ensemble that shall adorn the bride on the night of her wedding.

A lehenga if properly styled is one of the most flattering traditional outfits you can wear. The choli must be well-boned in order to fit like a glove and accentuate your vital statistics while supporting the embellishments worked upon it. It must be ‘kalidar’ for it to have the right amount of flare and a perfect fall. Cutting kalis into a lehenga is also an effective way to highlight the embroidery on it. Your designer knows best, how many kalis would be appropriate for your figure. Lehengas for the season come in a dual colored story. A traditional red or a fuchsia combined with a ‘to shock you’ color like an aqua, silver or a violet. Double duppatas instead of a single one further add a touch of grandeur. The one covering the head must be intricately embroidered all over and have a broad ‘matha patti’ The lighter dupatta is worn to look like a trail at the back. Underneath the lehenga, one can wear a can-can to lend support.

Jewellery really is governed more by community than anything else. Subconsciously we gravitate towards what is actually us. Marwaris love ‘jadau’ while Gujaratis prefer rose cut diamonds. Punjabis, Sindhis and South Indians go for solid gold and diamonds, Maharashtrians choose only gold and Christians like delicate diamond jewellery. A useful tip to remember while choosing jewellery however is that long earrings and necklaces add height whereas huslis cut height.

Like everything else about you, your make-up and perfume need to make a statement. Though, one must always be only as bold as one can comfortably carry off. Hair styles are restricted to styles which give you height and help balance the heavy dupatta covering your hair. Now for a practical tip, unless you want to have a severe headache by the end of the ceremonies, please tell the usually over enthusiastic hair dressers to go easy on the hair spray and the pins.

Footwear should be easy to slip on and off to avoid any struggle before sitting for the pheras and your look for the evening is complete. In my mind I always compare a bride to a diamond. The sparkle, shine born out the stones brilliance is akin to the glow of love on a bride’s face. Like the stone is multi faceted so does a bride radiate many a different hue reflecting different features of her personality. She is like a book whose story is yet to be told similar to a diamond’s bottomless pit which lends a certain enigma to its depth. Like a jewel she needs to be handled with love, care and devotion as she is all the more precious. The care-taker who is taking the responsibility, in other words the groom too must dress no less than a young prince.

A black sherwani exquisitely embroidered in swan white kachcha resham or a jamavar inspired bandhgala. Any extravagance that your heart desires is allowed for this day. The saffa and pagri must be color coordinated with your outfit. Since the outfit itself would be rich, it’s best to have both in neutral tones. Ivories to go with burnt oranges, nasturtium with midnight blue and deep cabernets to go with black. If at all any jewellery is required, a kundan brooch in the centre of the pagri adds a nice touch. The true test of a wedding outfit actually comes years later. When you pull it out of your closet, its timeless appeal should strike you just as its beauty did when you first wore it. Let’s hope we help you achieve that with our extremely basic advice.

THE RECEPTION

Everyone gathers together yet another time, for the last time to mark the end of the revelries. The charged atmosphere and the excitement of everyday now seems so much a part of your life you don’t want it to end but like all good things it must.

It is your first function as a ‘couple’. The customary dance, cake-cutting and welcome to your new family, the evening is very much like a champagne soiree. Receptions actually aren’t an Indian tradition; they have their origin in the west. Our silhouette for the evening also is a beautiful fusion of our sarees and their ball- gowns. The better known name for the genre is ‘concept- sarees’. They come in various forms. It is for you to choose the form that flatters you the most.

It could be a ‘sarong’ or a ‘double-concept’ saree or perhaps sarees with side splits. These sarees are easy to manage, give you additional height and reflect the mood of the evening, ’ELEGANCE’. The colour story given the mood comprises of ivories, emerald, cabernet, english rose or a royal purple. All colours denoting unmatchable class.

Make-up should be tasteful. Your aroma powerful enough to generate envy. Hairstyles, soft and swept up to create an aura of dainty feminity. With stilettos, adorning your feet the evening is all yours. The recommended look for the groom too is western. It is the cocktail story carried forward. Special attention though needs to be paid while accessorizing the outfit.

Accessories like cuff-links and tie-pins are essential and not optional. Special care needs to be taken to see that they are appropriately used.Formulas given in the lines you just read are successful experiments at creating the kind of ‘synergy’ which has us exclaiming something akin to ‘eureka!’ However, unless they are applied in cognizance with what is essentially you, they shall fail to yield desired results. Here’s hoping that at least some of the lines you just read act as a catalyst in achieving your dreams.

ELEGANCE

A couple of days back I had the good fortune to stumble across an extraordinary book in a second hand bookshop ‘entitled’ ELEGANCE by Madame Genevieve Antoine Dariaux. By generous permission of the original author I have used the tone and most of the brilliant gems of advice in presenting before you this article.

What is elegance?

It is a sort of harmony that rather resembles beauty with the difference that the latter is more often a gift of nature and the former a result of art. If I may be permitted to use such a high-sounding word for such a minor art.

The headings given below seek to elaborate on the hows and whys of achieving elegance.

Quality over Quantity Though quality need not necessarily mean expensive, more often than not it does. Now most times we feel it is just a big waste spending much more than required just for a label after all aren’t you just covering their promotional and other overheads? Another sect of people feels that the expense is incurred only to feed the ego. However, the truth of the matter is that designers are coveted because their product is indeed superior to the commercially viablecompetition. Superior in every possible way be it styling or exclusivity or quality etc. Bestrict with yourself.

Economise on food if you must (believe me it will do you good!) but not on your handbags andshoes. Refuse to be seduced by anything, which isn’t first-rate. The saying, ‘I can’t afford to buy cheaply’ was never so true. Without exception, I have ended up giving away all the cheap little novelty bags that I found irresistible at first. I realize that all this may seem rather austere, and even very expensive. But these efforts are one of the keys, one of the Open Seasames that unlock the door to Elegance. Also, garments become symbols of achievement both for the man
who bought it and the woman who wears it. They stand for status and undeniable luxury. As they say with a great deal of truth that the mink is the feminine Legion of Honor. So make yourselection with care. After all men come and go but good things are destiny. A strategy that will help you achieve your goal must be to possess fewer perfect ensembles rather than a wide choice of clothes to suit your every passing mood. This also increases your confidence and enjoyment derived from your clothes.

Extension of YOU

Sub-conciously we always tend to dress as per our personality and character. However, the temptations of being, ‘With It’ take their toll and we make an effort to look fashion-stricken. Ironic but sadly true. Those are times when we forget that our clothes give away a lot about us. Our age, mood, nature etc. etc. So lest you want to give out a wrong impression unless required I suggest you stick to who you really are when you dress.

A certain measure of discomfort is also associated with donning any act and behaving out of character .Inspite, of that women are not deterred in following the look of the season. Please remenber unless you are comfortable no amount of dressing up can help you carry of an outfit with ease.

Suitability as per time and place The question, ‘Where are we going tonight?’ is never an idle one. It provides valuable information that will allow you to tailor your appearance to best suit the surroundings in which you find yourself over the course of the evening, and it is just as unthinkable for an elegant woman to arrive at a restaurant for dinner in the wrong attire as it would be for her to turn up an hour late.

For e.g.: if you are being treated for a glamorous evening at a fashionable bistro, prepare yourself for food that is really quite average but clientele that are sure to be wearing the latest styles. You will feel most comfortable if you follow suit and choose something along the lines of a chic, little black dress, augmented with very fashionable, up-to-date accessories.

If, however, your escort has selected a celebrated well- established venue, then I would suggest you dress in whatever you own that’sconservative, luxurious and perhaps even a little banal. By all means, fling an outrageously expensive accessory in or deck yourself in diamonds- this is exactly what he would expect. And besides, your more avant-garde stylish ensemble will most likely be wasted on the older, affluent clientele, who are really there only to eat. Never forget that when you are dressing for dinner, you are dressing not just for yourself, but also for the pleasure and comfort of the gentleman taking you. And when a man is spending a small fortune on an evening, he usually likes to be surrounded by lavish décor, delectable cuisine, and a companion who looks as if she blends in perfectly with both.

One mantra that has always helped in achieving this is whatever be the occasion you should always adopt simplicity as the best policy and not try to radically transform your appearance for this special event. It would only astonish everyone and on any occasion you do not want to cause a sensation but simply to present a pleasing and attractive appearance.

Accessories

Viewing ones appearance as a whole always helps in achieving a complete look. A major part played in doing that is of how you accessorise your attire. A modest dress can triple its face value then worn with an elegant bag and shoes, while a designer’s original can lose mush of its prestige if its accessories have been carelessly selected. It is indispensable to own a complete set of accessories in black and, if possible another in brown, plus a pair of beige shoes and handbag for the summer. With this basic minimum, almost any combination is attractive. Of course, it would be ideal to have each set of accessories in two different versions: one
for sport and the other dressy.

Comfort

The idea of comfort has invaded our every domain; it is one of the categorical imperatives of modern life. We can no longer bear the thought of the slightest restriction, physical or moral, and many of the details, which were considered to be a mark of elegance some years ago are condemned today for reasons of comfort. Down with stiff collars, starched shirts etc. Practically the only die-hards to resist are women’s shoes. However, if women continue to seek comfort above all twenty-four hours a day, twelve months a year, they may eventually find that they have allowed themselves to become slaves to the crepe- rubber sole, nylon from head to
toe, pre-digested meals, organized travel, functional uniformity, and general stultification. When comfort becomes an end in itself, it is the Public Enemy Number One of Elegance.

Uniformity

Thanks to the high standard of living in the Occident and the perfectionof mass-produced fashions, an untrained observer must have the impression that every woman is dressed exactly alike. I do not know the origin of this modern form of modesty, which has swept through the feminine population across the world, and which seems to cause all women to want to resemble each other- even though at the same time they are spending more and more on clothes, cosmetics, and hair dressers! But if you really enjoy being dressed exactly like everybody else, then your future is rosy.

Uniformity is the natural by-product of an automated society, and who knows? - Perhaps one-day individuality will be considered a crime. In the meantime you can always join the army.

Discretion

Men enjoy being envied but they hate being conspicuous. And they particularly dislike vulgarity in the woman they love. The result that many a young woman who deliberately dresses to attract masculine admiration often inspires only astonishment. Discretion is one of the foundation stones of elegance along with Simplicity.

Girlfriends

It is a good idea never to go shopping for clothes with a girlfriend. Since she is often an unwitting rival as well, she will unconsciously demolish everything that suits you best. Even if she is the most loyal friend in the world, if she simply adores you, and if her only desire is for you to look beautiful, I remain just as firm in my opinion: shop alone, and turn only to specialists for guidance. Although they may not be unmercenary, at least they are not emotionally involved.

I particularly dread these three kinds of girlfriends:

(1) The one who wants to be just like you, who is struck by the same love-at-first- sight for the same dress, who excuses herself in advance by saying, “I hope you don’t mind, darling, and anyway, we don’t go out together very much, and we can always telephone beforehand to make sure we don’t wear it at the same time, etc. etc…. You are furious but don’tdare show it and you return the dress the next day.

(2) The friend with the more modest budget than yours, who couldn’t dream of buying the same kind of clothes as you (the truth is that she dreams of nothing else). Perhaps you think it is a real treat for her to go shopping with you. Personally, I call it mental cruelty, and I am always painfully embarrassed by the role of second fiddle that some women reserve for their best friend. Besides, her presence is of absolutely no use to you at all because this kind of friend always approves of everything you, select, and will agree with even greater enthusiasm if it happens to be something that isn’t very becoming.

(3) Finally, the friend who lives for clothes and whose advice you seek. This spoilt and self-confident woman will monopolise the attention of the shop assistants, who are quick to scent a good customer. You will find yourself forgotten by everybody, trying to decide what looks best not on you, but on your friend.

MORAL: Always shop alone. Women who shop with their friends may be popular, but elegant they are NOT.

Jewellery

The contents of a woman’s jewellery box are chronicles of her past; more telling than her underwear drawer, bathroom cabinet or even the contents of her handbag. The story the jewellery box tells is a romance and hopefully for you, it is a grand and passionate one. Jewellery is the only element of an ensemble whose sole purpose is
elegance, and elegance in jewellery is a highly individual matter. It is therefore impossible to say that only a particular kind of jewellery should be worn. One thing however is certain: an elegant woman, even if she adores jewellery as much as I do, should never indulge her fancy to the point of resembling a Christmas tree dripping with ornaments. Finally, a word to would-be-husbands: an engagement ring is often the only genuine jewel a woman owns, so please, invest in one of respectable size. The shock of paying for a good quality ring will evaporate the instant you see your thrilled fiancée proudly displaying it to all her friends and relations.

And secondly, do not underestimate the advantages of buying only from the very best. A ring box of a known jeweler will be prized almost as much as the ring itself. And this is one occasion you do not want to be accused of economizing.

Lingerie

The number of articles worn by a fashionable woman has considerably diminished since the beginning of the century. However, even though a woman’s lingerie maybe reduced to two pieces, they should at least be matching. It is the height of negligence to wear a white brassiere with a black girdle or reverse. Bright- coloured undergarments are charming, but of course can only be worn under dresses, which are opaque or dark. In the summer, it is preferable to stick to white. If you are extremely rich or refined, your underclothes might match the colour of your outer ensemble. Women are making a mistake in neglecting this potential added attraction to their charms. In short: when you dress, think always that later on you will be undressing and in front of whom. After all, nothing betrays a woman more than her lingerie; it is infinitely more revealing than a thousand hours spent on a psychiatrist’s couch.

One final word: this is not an area in which you throw discretion to the wind. Do not confuse beautiful lingerie, the kind that supports well and remains fresh, with the cheap, vulgar stuff of men’s magazines. Fascinating? I am certain. But elegant it is not. A man likes to think that his wife is attractive and discerning even when he is not looking, and surely, that is the image you want him to have at all times and the
one that will excite his deepest admiration.

Make-up

Ah! Wouldn’t it be marvelous if none of us needed it? But, alas, while some beauties are born, most of us are made. Make-up is a kind of clothing for the face, and in the city a woman would no more think of showing herself without make-up than she would care to walk down the street completely undressed. Nothing is more effective for brightening a woman’s visage and putting that final bit of polish to her look than a dash of lipstick, a sweep of black mascara or a rosy hint of rouge. However, while fashions in make-up may come and go, there are some things that remain forever déclassé. To be perfectly frank, too much is always too much. It is worth noting that people are meant to be complimenting you on the beauty of your eyes, and not your eye make-up. And if you find you cannot embrace a man without leaving a trail of powder on his suit lapel (an event too hideous for words!) then it is time to reconsider your motives, as well as your methods. Make-up is capable of many ingenious enhancements but it will not make you impervious to age or disappointment or a thousand other insecurities that plague the female mind. By all means know when to stop.

Negligees

One of the most baffling points of inconsistency in many otherwise elegant women is the way they completely neglect their appearance during the hours of intimacy in their homes- which is the very time and place where they ought to be at their most attractive. For every woman who, at the end of the day, removes her make-up and replaces it with a lighter one, ties a ribbon in her well-brushed hair and slips into a pretty, long dressing gown or housecoat with matching slippers, how many dress for an evening at home in a shabby dressing gown, their heads bristling with curlers, cream spread over their faces (when it isn’t a green or black masque) and with huge shapeless mules on their feet? It makes you wonder whom the result of all this beauty care is meant to impress- undoubtedly the trades-people they will see when they do their shopping the next morning. In the meantime, the poor husband learns to avoid looking at his scarecrow- wife and fixes his gaze instead on the sports page of the newspapers or in contemplation of the television screen.

After all, isn’t this really what beauty parlors were created for- so your poor, dear husband might be spared the horror of having to see everything?

Pounds

Every spring time the fashion magazines and women’s pages invent new diets, which, if they are followed to the letter, guarantee a slender figure and, consequently, elegance. Although it isn’t necessarily indispensable to be skinny as a mannequin in order to be elegant, it is probably true that the list of the Ten Best Dressed Women is also the list
of the Ten Hungriest Women. Slimming is practically a new religion. It used to be practiced very discreetly, almost clandestinely, and the early followers contented
themselves with a moderate slenderness, which still allowed for a few soft curves. But the sect has gained new converts every day until it now confidently decrees that salvation is impossible for the few remaining infidels who do not believe in the string bean silhouette and the skinny look.

Should you or should you not convert to this new religion? Perhaps, but at what cost? Dieters can become drearily obsessive about their newfound vocation. I recommend that you weigh not just yourself but your priorities as well. After all, God made you the way you are and there is no point fighting nature to the extent that you alienate all your friends and family with endless rules and regulations concerning what you can and
cannot eat. Being slender is undoubtedly elegant but neurotic self-obsession is NOT.

Sounds very simple but is rarely found in the modern world, largely because it requires precision, attention to detail, careful development of a delicate taste in all forms of manners and style. Not only does acquiring elegance require a polished exterior it also has a lot to do with a positive and healthy mental attitude, which is even more difficult
to achieve. That is the reason why it doesn’t come easily to most women and never will.